WHAT ORCHIDS TEACH US ABOUT LIFE AND LIVING

The beautiful images of the orchids and flowers are taken from my garden and serves as a constant reminder of the perfection and imperfection of nature. They express the philosophy I try and incorporate in my life and my work.

My mother and I have always loved gardening and flowers, and orchids is one of our favourite flowers. My mother was a natural gardener, the original organic gardener, using rice water as a fertiliser.

According to the Buddha, flowers symbolise the cycle of life and death — the young bud matures into a beautiful blossom, then fades away quietly, returning to the earth to nurture new life.

Beyond their stunning beauty, orchids teach us important lessons about life and living:

• that change (impermanence) is inevitable, and in the nature of things

• that everything and everyone are inter-connected and deserving of equal respect and consideration

• that practicing gratitude for each present moment as it unfolds is the foundation for joy and happiness

• that if we can see clearly the beauty of a single flower, a single element, a single person, our attitude would be one of kindness and compassion.

THE VOICE TO PARLIAMENT--"WHAT IF IT IS FOUND NOT TO BE FIT FOR PURPOSE?"

“The Australian Constitution can only be changed in a process called a referendum. A referendum is a vote by Australians to decide if they will support or reject a bill–a proposed law – to change the Australian Constitution. A referendum will only be successful if it is supported by a majority of voters in a majority of states, and by a majority of voters across the nation as a whole (a double majority).”

The debate around the Voice has centred mainly around the details of what the Voice involves, and how it will be implemented practically.

I have a more fundamental question which in my view, appears not to have been addressed to date:

What if after the Voice is enshrined in the Constitution, it is found not to be “fit for purpose,” for whatever reasons?

The Constitution can only be changed as indicated above. This means that if the Voice needs to be amended/revised/removed for whatever reasons, we need another referendum to do so.

As the Prime Minister, Mr Albanese said “it would be a very brave government” that ignored a representation put to government by the new Indigenous body.”

It would take an even braver government, and the majority of States and voters to deal with the Voice should that eventuality arises.

I am not talking about the workings of Voice for the next decade or the next generation, but in perpetuity once it is enshrined in the constitution.

Like many Australians, I am in favour of the recognition of Aboriginal and Torres Straits Islander people in the preamble of the Constitution. But enshrining the Voice in the Constitution is a totally separate matter with serious implications for the country.

The Prime Minister and the government have a responsibility to govern for ALL Australians. As Australians, we have an equal responsibility to not burden future generations with an enshrined body that has far-reaching consequences, intended or otherwise.

I am not a racist just because I raise legitimate concerns about the Voice. I am a NATIONALIST who loves Australia as much as the next Australian. But I worry for Australia when we enshrine a body that has not been tried or tested. Like many Australians, I would need to know how the Voice is going to be dealt with if it is found or deemed not to be “fit for purpose.”

Book Review of “Am I a Tiger…?” In The Humanistic Psychologist (APA) March 13, 2023.

I am delighted to share a recent review of my “AM I A TIGER?” Below are excerpts from the review.

 The Humanistic Psychologist (American Psychological Association Journal)
Seth Zuiho Segall, PhD, USA—Clinical Psychologist & Author

https://lnkd.in/gkJzR3hH

It is no exaggeration to say that our culture is failing at transmitting the virtues and wisdom children need if they are to flourish as individuals and as contributing members of their families and communities. … We transmit virtue and wisdom to the young not only through parental instruction, modeling and reinforcement, and school instruction, but also through immersion in a culture's treasury of fables, sagas, legends, and adages.

 Khong's delightful new children's book, “Am I a Tiger?.. is a welcome addition to that treasury. The book, published during the Chinese Lunar Year of the Water Tiger, is the first of a dozen envisioned books-the "Lunar New Year Animal Mindful Adventures for Kids" Series.

 Readers of The Humanistic Psychologist are probably familiar with Khong's work as a psychologist. She has been producing academic papers integrating Eastern and Western psychology for the past 25 years … What readers may not know, however, are her prodigious gifts as a children's writer. Her “Am I a Tiger...?” seamlessly integrates whimsy, wisdom, and poetry, happily adorned by Kelsey Roy's charming and beautiful illustrations.

 The little tiger cub who is the protagonist of Khong's tale is on a quest all young children will easily identify with…. [H]e is out to discover his identity and the community he properly belongs to. .... The phoenix teaches him about courage born from mindful awareness and counsels him ... to "practice kindness" in all he does.

This is a tale only Khong could tell. Her experiences as a psychologist, mindfulness expert, Buddhist practitioner, mother, and grandmother shine through on every page … . The young tiger cub's final verse ("Differences are labels of the mind. ALL opposites are beautiful…") expresses the fundamental underlying harmony that is a quintessential feature of Chinese thought-and as Khong notes, of many other wisdom traditions as well.

 The book offers an important experiential guide for parents to help kids develop resilience and good mental health. The actress Michelle Yeah calls it "a heart­ warming introduction to positive values." According to Dr Scott D. Churchill, the author "brings her psychotherapeutic ingenuity and intergenerational insight to bear in this beautifully conceived book that is destined to become a classic of children's literature."

 The book contains explanatory notes about the Lunar New Year and a delightful zodiac calendar for readers to discover their own Chinese zodiac signs. This is a book that parents will enjoy reading to their children, and That children will cherish… [W]e can all look forward to the next 11 books in this series.

A Psychologist's Perspective on Best Actress & Best Picture, Oscars, 2023

Let’s talk about Michelle Yeoh and Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

Much have been written about Michelle Yeoh’s award as best actress at the Oscars 2023. Like many women of Asian–Malaysian heritage, I applaud Michelle on her award, and for lighting the fires for the international recognition of Asian actors.

Michelle had kindly endorsed my book “AM I A TIGER?...”. As fellow tigers, the protagonist of my book—Water Tiger Cub (Michelle is also a water tiger) and I—are absolutely thrilled for her.

Beyond her Oscar win, Michelle has used her international fame to bring awareness to the suffering and plight of earthquake victims in Nepal (https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/13/opinion/michelle-yeoh-oscars-earthquake-relief.html) and to animal welfare, in her role as a goodwill ambassador for the United Nations  Development Program.

If we focus on the significance of her award for just Asians, coloured people, and women (as important as they are), we may lose sight of the most important lesson of her win—the opportunity to help fellow human beings, regardless of their nationality, race, and gender. Michelle has demonstrated by her actions, a way to help—simply and effectively. To me, this is the real meaning of the term “inclusivity”—that we help all living things (humans and animals) in need whenever, and wherever we can. I look forward to Michelle continuing to be a role model for promoting positive values—kindness, generosity, and compassion towards all, everywhere.  

Everything, Everywhere, All At Once (EEAAO) Wins Best Picture.

The movie has been described as “wacky, weird” a “sci-fi film,” a comedy, a drama etc. I watched it twice. The first time, I found the multiple storylines, and the metaverses a bit confusing. Then I watched the movie a second time, not really thinking about what the movie is about. It was then I appreciated why the movie resonated with audience all over the world.

Below is a summary of the various levels of meaning I took away—from a psychologist’s perspective. 

• Family dynamics and intergenerational legacies—shown as complex, and complicated involving e.g., familial expectations, the need for approval, filial piety; the difficulties of Evelyn and Waymond, being the “sandwich generation” trying to balance the needs of elderly parents and children, and work-life demands;      

• Mother and daughter dynamics—illustrated by the on-off relationship between Evelyn and her daughter, Joy. Ultimately, when Evelyn accepts Joy for who she is, says “Ok” and let her go, they found each other again—not in another metaverse—but in the actuality of their lived worlds. Given Michelle’s close relationship with her own mother, I found this theme especially poignant;

• Marital dynamics—between Evelyn and Waymond demonstrate the breakdown of a partnership that is short on communication, and long on “what might have been,” for Evelyn. The receipts which she showed to Deidre, the IRS officer, are expressions of Evelyn’s unfulfilled dreams. When Waymond explains to Deidre that Evelyn is spinning out of control because she has just been served with divorce papers, and Deidre empathises due to her own martial breakdown, Evelyn appreciates that Waymond has always been supportive. They found each other again, through this mutual understanding, rather than through marital expectations;

• The Metaverses—which Evelyn alternates between can be seen as metaphors for the chaos in Evelyn’s mind when her real life circumstances break down, and the need to escape to a universe where she is a “superhero” is appealing and soothing;

• At the Existential level—the movie portrays what life feels like when the protagonists experience meaninglessness, and the need to make sense of their current limited life situations. Ultimately, the protagonists found meaning—in family, love, and joy in the present moment;

• At the Spiritual level—perhaps, the most subtle theme of the movie, ideas from Buddhist and Taoist philosophies—that when one accepts one is nothing, void and empty, one can be anything and everything. The spiritual theme of Nothingness is not a form of nihilism, but rather adopting an attitude of being open to what comes into one’s life and embracing the possibilities. The symbol of the bagel (meaninglessness) is neutralized and balanced with the symbol of the “googly eyes,” the idea that one can create meaning in life with expressing kindness, generosity, and compassion.

While the movie’s primary aim is to entertain, it is not just an entertaining film. Its Metaverses portray deeply personal dramas, while its existential, and spiritual themes speak of potentialities and meaningfulness.

The movie’s themes resonate with audience of all culture, nationality, race, and gender worldwide. Although the main storyline showcased the experiences of an Asian migrant family in America, these experiences are not unique to Asians. EEAAO is foremost a movie about human experiences enriched by expressions of empathy, kindness, compassion, and positive values.

I highly recommend the movie for watching and reflection.